change is coming (sols)

I returned to school cold turkey this year.
No candle.
No chili.
No new school shoes.

Nothing.

Two days before my first day this conversation happened:

Andy: You go to school on Monday? Like two days from now?
Me: Yes.
Andy: No…you have to be joking around. You really go to school on Monday?
Me: I’m not joking. Monday I start school.
Andy: Where did the summer go?

I’m not sure, because I didn’t let go of summer at all.

But it’s gone.

I don’t think I’d do it differently, because even though I didn’t transition, the kids are. They return to school on today. All last week they followed a school schedule for bedtime and a summer schedule during the day. Then there was the Last Hurrah of Summer yesterday.

It’s good for them to realize change is coming.

But this doesn’t make it easy.

Sometimes when kids have a history of being uprooted, any change — even expected change — can make for a bit of a rocky time. And even though they are excited, they are also anxious and nervous and even scared. They know in their brains there isn’t a reason to be scared but their hearts feel differently.

So the emotions are raw and close to the surface. No! is always on the tip of a tongue. Defiance is a go-to comfort. And the words runrunrun from the mouth.

This momma might just have had enough. And then…

They snuggle with me as we read Because of Winn Dixie.
“You’ve gotta see this, Mom” as they show me the latest Lego creation.
I am pulled by the hand out to the back yard, and they show me their latest bike trick.
I pull the brush through the long hair and form the braid strand by strand.

They hug tight. And I know, despite all of the turmoil, this is going to be okay. They are going to get through. And I am enough to shoulder their fears and nerves and concerns.

Change starts today.
We will manage.

7 Comments »

  1. I liked following your thoughts. The change is different for each one of you in your family. There is calmness in your voice. It's going to be fine.

  2. My friend reminds me, babies are the only ones that like change. It sounds like you are easing into the change. You are enough, they (and you) will adjust to the new normal rhythm patterns of this year. Great things will happen!

  3. Ruth,
    I know you will all get through this transition to new routines. I am sure there might be bumps along the way but sometimes life is messy-and that's ok! The important thing is being supportive when you can-and you know that so it's all good!

  4. love love the snuggle and the book choice…they will keep their summer heart the rest of their life and the snuggle, they will always remember…the transition is exciting too…praying for your sweet children. xo

  5. I'm not ready to let go of summer yet, either, Ruth. Your calm approach is exactly right. I've been thinking about this myself and found this quote which is going to be my mantra this year:
    “Slow down. Calm down. Don't worry. Don't hurry. Trust the process.” Alexandra Stoddard

    Have a great year!
    Catherine