mother’s day

It would be easy to write a sweet little Mother’s Day post tonight. After all, I spent it with my mom and grandma, Andy’s mom, and our dads. I spent the entire day with my four children. Andy made prime rib lunch and then cooked dinner for the kids too. We started the day with church and a child dedication service, dedicating ourselves to parenting with Jesus’ help and guidance.

Yes, it could be a sweet little post about the dedication service and how I’m reminded that children are a gift.
Yes, it could be a sweet little post about how my mom has always been there for me and continues to go above and beyond, even now that I’m all grown up (as if we ever grow up).
Yes, it could be a sweet little post about how my mother-in-law and step-mother-in-law are always kind and supportive.
Or it could be a sweet little post about my over-eighty year old grandmother and how I keep seeing more of her in me as the years go on.
It could be all of these things.
But it wouldn’t be real.
I spent many Mother’s Days waiting for children. Even now, I still remember the ache of waiting. And so I remember all of the aches Mother’s Day can bring.
I remember those who are waiting for children. Adoptions that are halted. Adoptions that have fallen through. Families who long for a child.
I remember those who are missing children. Mothers who ache because their children were taken or kidnapped or ran away. Mothers who ache from outliving their children because of accidents or cancer  or war.
I remember those who are motherless, orphans in our state and country and world. Those who are waiting for someone to love them just as they are.
I remember those who have lost their moms. They can’t pick up the phone and hear her voice or stop by for a visit.
I remember those who selflessly gave their children to adoptive parents. Birthmothers who love their children and decided on the gift of adoption. We honored three birthmothers today in our house.
The reality of Mother’s Day is the reality of being a mother. It isn’t all sweet little moments. There are aches involved. So when you see this sweet little photo taken today, don’t be deceived.
It is not a plethora of sweet little moments that make us a happy family. We are a happy family because of grace. The aches of a history without a forever family prick even on a day designed to celebrate family. Love can overwhelm. And it takes time to accept a momma who looks and acts completely different than you’ve always imagined.
But at the end of the day, I see the trail of grace. Their little arms wrap around my neck and their “I love yous” warm my ears. I am sustained by peace from a God who loves much more than I do and is much bigger than I can even imagine.
Blessings to you this Mother’s Day, no matter your emotions, may you too know grace.

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3 Comments »

  1. You are always so eloquent and totally spot on. This year, I prayed especially for all of the moms involved in Sandy Hook and the Aurora Theater shooting. And for moms who are watching as their kids struggle. Love seeing the picture of all of you. The girls are getting so tall!

  2. I thought about you Sunday and the blessings you have received with your children. I thought of Jordan, wondering what he thought of the gift of your motherhood given to him. I shared my thoughts with my kids, sharing the blessings with them. I thanked the Lord for still having my mother when friends do not anymore. I thought of the many women who “mother” my children and hugged those I could who have adopted me.
    Thank you for your story. Your reflection makes me thank the Lord for His grace even more.