what healing looks like

Growing up, I always imagined protecting my children from the world. I never even consider the possibility that my children could be hurt and scarred and battered. Parents are supposed to shield their children.

Some days I feel like I’m a day late and a dollar short.

There are those moments when I wish I had a magic wand and I could wave it and *poof* all would be easy. But then I look a little closer. There’s a lot of healing going on around here. To someone who isn’t living it day in and day out, it might be possible to miss the healing. For that matter, it might be possible for someone who is living it day in and day out to miss the healing because she just might be deep-bone tired.

Like most things in life, there is an ebb and flow to healing. At first, you just catch glimpses. I’m holding on to these moments. They sustain me. It is only fitting to make a list of healing slices.

  1. It’s handing over the last bit of monkey bread dessert when you know you’ve had more than another.
  2. It’s taking a shower the first time you’re asked without stomping or yelling.
  3. It’s drying the dishes and saying, “I love you.”
  4. It’s not taking the extra shot at the hoop when you’re called in for dinner.
  5. It’s getting all mad, facing a consequence, and accepting responsibility.
  6. It’s sharing the monster truck.
  7. It’s laughing over the whoopee cushion on your sister’s chair.
  8. It’s filling water glasses without being asked.
  9. It’s saying, “I’m glad you don’t yell at me, Mom.”
  10. It’s boxing with you’re dad.
Love makes healing possible. And healing builds a family.

Let's Be Email Pals!

Teaching writers doesn't have to drown us.

Enter your information to receive my free eBook, plus weekly tips and encouragement for teaching writers.

Don't worry, I won't send you spam, and you can unsubscribe any time. (I'd hate to see you go, though.) Powered by ConvertKit


  1. It's listening to the endless comments because she wants to share. 🙂
    I love your list. I love #8, but #9 melted my heart.
    I agree with #11 – capturing the soul of thought is healing.

  2. What a great list – it inspires me in a lot of ways – especially since I've been feeling so negative lately. Time to look for the positives.
    How reflective of you to notice these moments of healing and note them. You're right – sometimes we're just too far in it and too dang tired. Sending positive thoughts to your family – keep healing. 🙂

  3. Lovely moments to notice, Ruth. I know this is about love and family, but I also wish every teacher would notice these little things too, that tell so much about a child, or even about an adult, too. Just notice! Thank you!

  4. I love that you honored the birthmothers in your house. I have friends that are aching to adopt. These birthmothers made loving moves on behalf of their children…God Bless you Ruth for your open hand and heart. xo