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Category: parenting

Love Not Control

When I was an undergrad, I had a professor who encouraged us to use positive reinforcement for classroom management. He suggested to look for a student who was doing the right thing and say, “I like how Johnny is standing in line,” or “I like the way Johnny is sitting quietly,” or “Thank you, Johnny, for keeping your hands to yourself.” I piped up (it was before my filter was securely in place like it is most of the time now) and said, “Yeah and then everyone wants to beat… Read more Love Not Control

Believe in Them

Sometimes the grind of parenting a child with a hard history gets to me. Sometimes I’m tattered teaching a child how to give and accept love. Sometimes I’m worn out fighting the same battle over the same boundary for 600 straight days. And then someone says something like, “Wow, I just can’t imagine becoming a mom the way you did.” On a day with grace, I’m able to seal my sharp tongue behind my lips. Sometimes affirmation follows. It sounds like this, “I admire the way you see who they… Read more Believe in Them

Believe {34 of 40 Stories}

Click here for the backstory. I take a deep breath before I open her bedroom door to turn out the lights, to say good night, to keep my mouth closed. There are too many words that will be dangerous if they escape. She smiles at me, eyes blue and rimmed with red because she has yelled and screamed and cried too much tonight.  Just hug her. Just hug her. Just hug her. And get out before your tongue gets loose. It is in the middle of my self-lecture that my… Read more Believe {34 of 40 Stories}