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Today I celebrate ROOTS.
I look at my own children, children who wandered before they came home to our forever family.
It takes awhile to build a bond. It takes even longer to grow roots.
Experts talk about attachment disorder. Whole books are written about the woes of losing a biological family. Chapters and chapters devoted to the hardships of spending too long in foster care or orphanages. Case reports of children who bounce from home to home.
The outlook is dreary. The future bleak. Dreams shattered.
This week Jordan shattered a large mirror — the one that sits on our fireplace mantel. He didn’t have to wonder anymore about the reason we have a no throwing balls in the house rule.
Usually this kind of thing is a catalyst to Jordan hiding and lying about his mistake. Then when he’s confronted, there is a huge blow up followed by a major melt down. It doesn’t matter how nonchalant we are about the ordeal, he makes it an enormous problem in his mind.
So when he called to confess, we were a little surprised. Then he followed up with a text message. When we got home, he met us at the door, looked us in the eye and said, “I was throwing the ball in the house. I broke the mirror. I’m not sure how to clean it up, but I’ll help. I’m sorry. I thought maybe I could do the dishes tonight as an apologetic action.”
(We talk a lot about apologetic actions around our house.)
I raised my eyebrow. Andy winked at me. And we hugged Jay. We cleaned up the mirror. We went on with the evening. Jay realized the freedom that comes in owning up to our mistakes.
He grew some roots this week, learning the power of unconditional love.
“You know, Mom, before, I’d have to eat in my room for breaking something like that. I’d have to eat in my room for days, maybe even weeks. Yous guys know that I don’t mean to make a mistake. I mean, I knew it was wrong to throw the ball in the house, but I wasn’t trying to break the mirror.”
“I know,” I said and pulled him into my lap. I know he’s too old to rock, but when you miss all those first years, I think it’s justified.
“I think being a forever family means people think the best of you.”
This kid is growing roots. It’s possible for him to grow roots because he has parents who are rooted. We have firm roots of faith, which provide us with the wherewithal to allow our children to push and test and determine if our love is real, if it’s forever. As they test, we find they grow roots of their own.
The power of strong roots will always prevail.
Looking forward to reading your celebrations this week. Link-up below!