Emotions Explode

This is my favorite season.

I wish I could end the post right there. Five words and — click — done. But, like most beginnings, the first five words only tell some of the story.

The season is not ideal. For children who have hard histories, this season brings extreme emotions.

Hope for a family that stays forever. Grief for the family that’s been lost.
Joy for being well-loved. Fear of being well-loved.

Their emotions explode.
Waves of giggles. Swarms of screams.
Abundance of hugs. Plenty of stomps.

surrounded by the twinkling white lights
and the dancing flame of the birch and peppermint candle
and the stockings
and the fresh caramels and peanut butter fudge
and the wrapped packages

I am at peace.

Their emotions explode.
I love them more.
He does too.
We stand as a stronghold for the young lives who are recovering and rediscovering their strength under our roof. They heal, small pieces at a time.

Our youngest, the one who has been with us for-always, who is a catalyst for healing, runs his train.  His joy is pure. Untainted. Just like his momma, this is his favorite season.

“I hope someday they love Christmas as much as we do.” He smiles at me, his eyes the color of fresh snow under a full moon. 

“They will,” I say, sipping hot tea from a red-joy mug. The peace on the inside of me has filled the room. It is the presence of the One who gives peace. I close my eyes. Their extreme emotions exhaust me.

He comes close, his voice in my ear like he has a secret just for me. “I keep loving them even when they don’t like it. That’s what Christmas is all about…too much love. It’s why Jesus came…”

I glance sideways at him. Lift my eyebrows and hope he says more.

He kisses my cheek. “Jesus loves you too much too, Mom.”

He slides back to his belly and adjusts his train tracks. I blink back the wet that came from being loved too much. The catalyst for healing soothes my soul, then watches his train and remains unscathed by the extreme emotions.

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  1. What a wise young man you have raised. My heart breaks for the ones who didn't have the secure loving home for too many years. I know they will have more good years than bad through the course of their lives, but it is hard to overcome the other years. You are loved deeply.

  2. What a wise little guy Sam is! I love reading about his words of wonder and wisdom for someone so young. You're such an angel to be such a loving mother. I pray for the same patience and wisdom you are showing in your writing.

  3. Thankful for your love and peace. Thankful for your youngest who gives kisses and speaks the truth. Thankful for your home to ones who are learning the peace and joy. Thankful to the One who gives the love! Thankful for your truth through the hard and the real.

  4. “That's what Christmas is all about…too much love.” This should be a holiday/Christmas/everyday Hallmark card. How is one so young, so wise in the ways of the world? Blessing to you all.

  5. This is simply beautiful, and totally true: “I keep loving them even when they don't like it. That's what Christmas is all about…too much love. It's why Jesus came…” Thank you for reminding us what Christmas is all about.

  6. This is powerful…your son is putting voice to God's words to us. We are adopted children of the King…I always will remember loves us too much! Thank you Ruth…I totally needed this today. xo nanc

  7. Your little guy seems like such a wise old soul. He has such a grasp on the Father's character, I love the idea of “too much love.” What a solid place to rest! And even more so in this season of “exploding” emotions. We have those in our house right now too… Thank you!

  8. Ruth, this post is absolutely beautiful…not just because of the message but because of the beauty and tenderness in which you wrote it: “eyes the color of fresh snow under a full moon”, “red-joy mug,” “extreme emotion exhaust,” “too much love.” Such gorgeous language. This post radiates with the warmth of a momma's heart.

  9. This is beautiful, Ruth. I felt like I was right there with you, noticing the slippery tear escaping and allowing the holiday joy to envelope me too. I'm catching up on your posts. Wishing you the best in 2014… Leap. 🙂