Today Marks ALWAYS

{2008}

Today marks the day when always becomes real for Hannah. She turns twelve and this will be the year when she will be with us longer than she lived without us. Before coming home to our family she learned to compartmentalize and it was a little rough learning that a forever mom and dad were always there. Always.

Always is a big word to understand when your first years of existence teach you that the only expected thing in life is nothing can be always. Houses change. People are in constant flux. Food isn’t a certainty.

It takes time to understand always.

Sometimes you may act indifferent.
Sometimes you may be aloof.
Sometimes you may simply lean into a hug.

Then there comes a time when things change. Living it day in and day out, it’s hard to pinpoint the exact moment. It’s hard to know the day when she realized the truth. It happened, though.

We know because Mom and Dad roll off of her tongue like they’ve always been part of her language. These words are commonplace, no longer spoken with awe and reverence.
We know because she runs to the door when we get home and hugs us real — tight with arms.
We know because she has favorites — a favorite color and a favorite food and a favorite ice cream flavor. She doesn’t just want whatever and she doesn’t copy my favorites any more.
This year always becomes real. She will live with us longer than without us. When you make it this far, then you know always is possible.

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at Two Writing Teachers.

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12 Comments »

  1. What a special day for Hannah and the rest of your family! Twelve is one of those landmark birthdays. So glad that always is real and possible for her now!

  2. First, I am so very excited to see this blog post http://blog.stenhouse.com/archives/2013/10/01/now-online-celebrating-writers/ :)!

    As always – what a great, inspiring post! I had never thought about before how it would have taken her longer to get to the phase of with you more than without than her younger sister. I love how writing has that power to bring thoughts to the forefront and to have ahas. Congratulations to all of you for this special moment in your life.

  3. Thanks for this wonderful slice and Happy Birthday to Hannah. We don't always remember that it will take children a long time to heal and become accepting. Your line: “We know because she runs to the door when we get home and hugs us real — tight with arms.” says it all.

  4. A special day indeed! This brings me to tears as I reread this and think what it truly means for your girls. A day to celebrate always.

  5. This is beautiful. Congratulations to you and your family – and to your daughter, especially!
    Your description of always is beautiful!

  6. What a happy/pretty picture of Hannah. What better way to explain “always.” Interesting observation on having “favorites.” Much to celebrate. Happy Birthday, Hannah.

  7. Oh happy day! I love seeing these pictures of your girls when they were so little. Love their little girl faces. Such a big day for all of you–enjoy:-)

  8. It's the nicest picture of Hannah, Ruth. I just had to go back & read your post, to see what this 'always' meant for your family, and now I see it was for Hannah. I loved the way you wrote those 'little things' that mean always is true now for her. It is those that make it all real, you are so right. Hugs for you all!