coming home + a miracle

Today all of the kids came home after being at sleep-away church camps. It’s like pieces of my heart are back in the places they are supposed to be.

Sometimes going away can trigger strong emotions for kids who have toured the foster system. Jordan was more than anxious about leaving home. He was scared. The day of camp got a little ugly.

“What’s going on, Buddy?” I asked.

“I’m afraid I’m going to miss you too much.”

I hugged him, reassured him, and we went on with the morning. His emotions got the best of him. He became more anxious, aggressive, and defiant. I wondered where our usual ready-for-anything son went.

Finally I gathered him up in my arms, held him close and said, “I’m still your mom when you’re away at camp. I’ll still be your mom on Saturday when you come home. You know this right?”

“I don’t know.” His voice was muffled from being buried in my shoulder.

I paused. “You know you’ll come back here, to our home, right?”

He shrugged. “Maybe,” he said, his voice rough with tears.

In that moment nothing else mattered. He was afraid and although the fears weren’t currently realistic, they were still real to him. I hugged him and promised we would still be a family, he would come home, and camp would be very good.

Then I prayed. And cried. And wondered if I made a decision that might turn out to hinder his growth. I prayed more.
Andy prayed.
And we asked a few others to pray too.

Jordan ended up loving camp. He returned home and found his family and home and this life that he is wanting to embrace is still here, waiting for him.

He smiled at me over the Sorry game board and said, “You know Mom, I did miss you too much. I’ve never missed anyone like that and then they’s still be there for me. You’re different, though. I think you’ll be my mom forever.”

Yes, yes I will. I couldn’t get the words out, but I leaned over and kissed him on the forehead and he kissed me back on the cheek.

Sometimes something so supernatural happens, you just know the Lord is at work. I couldn’t help but notice the miracle and the very big blessing. I just wanted him to have a good time at camp, I wanted him to feel secure in himself, I wanted him to trust us just a little more. Instead, he returned from camp with a big trust in me — his mom forever — and found himself realizing this home will be here for him always. God is very good.

6 Comments »

  1. The pictures alone evoke emotion…but the words, yours and Jordan's brought forth the best kind of tears. My heart is full thinking of your forever family together today. It is so special when you let us in on moments like these. Thank you.

  2. You're simply and wonderfully blessed, and so is Jordan. What a gift to push, and support, then push again. He gained by going, then coming back. Thank you for sharing, Ruth.

  3. You brought me to tears with this glimpse into your home and family. How wise you are to understand the hidden fears that linger. I'm glad Jordan had a good time at camp. I understand how he missed his family.

  4. You continue to show us how to live in the moment. I love how you slowed things down with the realization . . . “In that moment, nothing else mattered.” Thanks, Ruth, for sharing this miracle with us.