right now

goffW

Right now I am reminded of the importance of collecting the ordinary stories of my life. Big meaning is always found in tiny moments.

Right now I’m nearing the end of a day spent alone. I knew it would be a shame if I spent it not-writing. I stacked words in my notebook and found myself compelled to return to my blogging roots.

Right now I don’t know how to answer the question, “How is your family?” We are resilient. We fight for fun. We are growing into ourselves. Except for Stephanie. She’s not well and is unraveling. It’s ugly. Heart wrenching. Sad. And I don’t know how to answer the question, “How is your family?”

Right now I understand what it means to have a peace that surpasses understanding. I’m holding peace, right here in my hands. It’s not as fragile as I think it should be. I’m learning when you hold peace, you don’t have time to be frantic.

Right now I’m caught up on laundry. This should not be noteworthy, I do realize. Yet, it is. It is very noteworthy, because it is a sign of recovery. The house is tidy. The dishes are clean. The laundry goes from washer to dryer to closest without a pause. It makes family life easier, clean laundry.

Right now I’m smelling a dozen colorful roses. A friend gave them to me, a quiet gesture that said, “You’re okay.” I think we should tell each other more often that we’re okay.

12 Comments »

  1. Right now I’m praying for continued peace and resilience and strength and even caught up laundry! So happy to see you writing again. Sending hugs from the south!

  2. I think of you and your family, and pray often. I will continue to do that. I’ve missed your writing!

  3. Ruth,
    I am thinking of the many things you have learned, shared, and struggled over in these words on your blog. Your story as part of God’s story. God at work. Something big, powerful and life affirming in that. God doing some of His work through us, too(like Leigh Anne and Carol commenting before me) in our words! Connection and support, care, thoughts with prayers…right now when it is clearly expressed…and many more times! Hugs!

  4. I love that someone gave you flowers to remind you that you are OK. A simple, yet profound gesture. You are OK, Ruth. You’ll get through all of it because you are you, holding that ball of peace in your hand. Thanks for coming back to blogging. I needed to read this today. I have a friend who is dying right now and it feels like an unraveling, a tragic tornado, but if I sit still, I can feel the peace I hold knowing she will be OK and all will be well.

  5. Oh, Ruth. I have no words. But I hear you. I hear you. Continued prayers and small moments of gratitude, like laundry. (I get it.) And BIG hugs too!

    • Sometimes the biggest truths lie in the smallest details. Sometimes I feel silly writing about small details, like clean laundry. I’m grateful for your comment and the reminder that it matters.