I do laundry in the middle of the night.
I finish school work after my kids are in bed.
I exercise at 9:45 pm.
I find time to read before 5:00 am.
I write when the sky is dark and full of stars.
Sometimes I get a little whiny. Usually it’s when I’m matching socks and the clock is ticking past midnight. I think something like this: Why do I have to fold laundry in the middle of the night? Or even worse: When do I get to do something I want to do?
These are the first thoughts down a slippery trail of survival.
Sometimes I catch myself and give myself a little lecture. It’s not about having too many tasks on my list or feeling tired and a little worn. Life isn’t guaranteed to be easy-peasy. It’s more about living fully.
Just because I think laundry should always be caught up and homework is finished before dinner time and dirty dishes aren’t left in the sink, doesn’t mean there’s something wrong when I’m matching socks at midnight or putting away the dinner dishes before I go to work the next day.
The world has a way of making me believe I’m a failure when I’m overwhelmed.
But what if — what if — feeling a little overwhelmed is a sign of living just where I’m supposed to be? I’m learning when the Lord calls us to do something, we will fail if we go at it alone. My calling is bigger than myself. I can’t do it all — write and teach and work and parent and and and and — on my own strength.
On the days when it feels too much, I need to find strength outside of myself. My greatest source of strength comes from joy. It is written: The joy of the Lord is my strength (Nehemiah 8:11). So even though I don’t feel like it, I will celebrate. I will find solace in pulling a pair of matched socks out of my drawer and having clean dishes to set on the table. Because life is so much more than keeping up. Life is about loving and healing and laughing and making the world a better place today than it was yesterday.