finding space in my writing life
I wanted a perfect ending. Now, I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.
I first latched on to this quote in February 2008. At the time I added it to a post called “A Hiatus” on my first blog, Inspiring Readers and Writers. The post was titled “A Hiatus” because I just couldn’t write: The End. I supposed I should note I never wrote another post on Inspiring Readers and Writers again. (I also made it a private because I was getting some spam-comments and it’s never fun to read creepy words under your toddler’s adorable photo. Still, from time to time you’ll find Vintage Ayres posts.)
In the hiatus post I wrote:
And I’m learning that endings are okay. They open doors to other places in our lives.
In 2010, Stacey and I added the Radner quote to the “Closing Thoughts” in Day by Day. It’s a tribute to the way we develop our craft of teaching — taking the moments, making the best of them, never quite knowing what’s going to happen next.
Right now these words are speaking to me — Delicious Ambiguity — as I consider following certain paths in my writing journey. It’s been stirring inside of me. This post, back in January, was the point where I began being bold in my collections, bold in documenting my story of faith and family and radical, crazy living.
And yet I still find myself afraid to take the leap. It’s because I don’t want to close the door on all of the writing I already do. I don’t want to let go of the professional words I weave. However, until I do, I won’t have time to write the story I need to write.
If I’m not writing the story my soul knows, then I’m always going to be looking back over my shoulder and wondering what my words should have made. It’s time I make space to write the story that is knocking around inside of me.
I think this story is worthy of finding words on the page.