2014: Steph Timeline
- This was the year things were hard with Jay. Remembering this, made me remember that as Jay began to heal and accept us as his forever family, Stephanie began to unravel. It was difficult for her to appreciate growth in others. (It still is.)
- Stephanie really loved playing softball. We gave her catcher’s gear for Christmas. It was exciting for her.
- The kids played together a lot — in the snow; in the pool; board games; imaginary games in the backyard; bike rides and lots of walks. They really loved to play Harry Potter.
- The kids took an online quiz to find out what Houses they would be sorted into at Hogwarts. The results were:
- Hannah — Hufflepuff
- Jordan — Ravenclaw
- Sam — Gryffindor
- Stephanie — Slytherin
- (To note, Andy and I are both Gryffindor.)
- When I looked back in my journals, I found that Stephanie was still extremely difficult to get along with, and in 2014 I began using the word “hateful” to describe her behavior.
- Stephanie was jealous of the other kids.
I was sure, so very sure, that the love of a family could heal anything. I was sure if I could learn to love more, that Stephanie would be able to overcome her dark start to life. We invested so much into all of the kids.
The thing about love is it doesn’t have to be received. I still believe that love can turn darkness to light, but it isn’t mine to force. There are some things that cannot be fixed by humans.
Until Stephanie learns to love herself and decides to accept love, the love of a family won’t be able to heal her.