I Have Time {CELEBRATE This Week: 178}
I’m not exactly sure when it happened, but somehow we went from toys and goldfish crackers to late night movies and high heels. We don’t have a house full of little kids anymore. I don’t miss it as much as I thought I would. It reminds me of a stance I claimed a decade ago as Sam moved from infant to toddler.
I reread the caption [on an Instagram photo that could have been my undoing], My favorite season of parenthood yet, and I was reminded of a young momma who was completely captivated by her blue-eyed toddler. I was younger then, before I was scraped by the ugly of the world, and I was enamored by how quickly my little boy changed. I missed the late night bottles in the wooden rocking chair, but I loved that he danced in the kitchen while I cooked dinner. I missed pureeing the baby food, but I loved that he took the last sip of my tea each morning.
I realized parenting was always going to be about missing something and loving something new. The seasons change. I decided then, as a young momma — before I knew the way trauma changes a child and before I knew I had two daughters and another son out there facing the ugly this world offers, waiting to someday let me be their momma too — I decided I would always allow my favorite season of parenthood to be the current season.
The Instagram post stung not because I’m an inferior momma, but because it revealed that I’m not keeping up my end of the deal. I’m not letting right now be my favorite season of parenthood.
Parenting is always about missing something and loving something new. As they get busier, I have to be still. This isn’t easy in a world where busy is a badge of honor.
Hannah slid across the kitchen counter, her knees wobbly on the stool, and the stories and thoughts and giggles spilled out. I waited for dinner to finish cooking. There were a zillion other things for me to do, but I sat and I listened.
I sometimes forget that I don’t have to be busy. Busy is a choice, a decision, a mindset. I do not have to decide to be busy. There is another option.
I have time.
It is true.
Don’t believe the lie the universe is telling.
Busy isn’t important. Busy isn’t success. Busy isn’t achievement.
I’m heading into a weekend filled with good stuff — there are 8 major commitments on our calendar for the next two days. Rather than lamenting, We’re so busy! Andy and I have decided to claim time. We are an active family, and there are events outside of our control. We didn’t schedule the band competition or the boy scout outing. We didn’t schedule the visitation times or the Super Bowl. We simply said Yes, we have time.
This weekend I’ll wash laundry a little later at night than I prefer and my walks will be a little shorter than I prefer. This is the essence of having time — we make adjustments to our preferences in order to have time to love more.
Because in the end, it’s not about being busy, but about loving more.
I’m glad you are here to celebrate. Your act is one of claiming time. Cheers!
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This post rings true for me and I'm not a parent. (I love writers that can do that, by the way. Write about something specific, but reach a more universal audience!) Loving the season you are in is so important and so challenging! I'm facing that too, right now. And this line, “Busy is a choice, a decision, a mindset.” YES! YES! YES!
Oh . . yes! It is the same here on the ranch. . . .My new year goals were to be better at daily devotions, exercise, and celebrations! Writing time was to be somewhere in there. I have been successful with these, but haven't taken time to write as much. How do you keep it all in balance is a mystery to me. I do know that when you are busy with children, you think “I can't wait for quiet and no place to go!” Let me say. . .that time will pass and you will be in a quiet house wishing you had that business again:) We just do the best we can.
One year my class and I studied Thoreau, and one quote from him I favor is “Time is but the stream I go a fishin' in”. That guides me every day when I think there is too much to do, those thoughts of “how will it all fit in?”, but they do. I remember when it was almost bedtime and one of my kids came in to say, “let's talk.” Your post reminded me of that, Ruth, and I'm so glad that I did.
I love that you are being present with the moment. Such an important philosophy when raising children and when juggling all their activities. My children are grown ups. I sometimes lament the days when they were home and we were always busy, but mostly I enjoy each moment that I'm with them. I also enjoy my quiet time alone. But I can't help but pine over being a grandmother. That time will come when it's the right time.
I have time… three more little words that say I love you. Beautiful thoughts, Ruth.
Such good advice, Ruth: “Don't believe the lie the universe is telling. Busy isn't important. Busy isn't success. Busy isn't achievement.” And when it comes to choice, my mother's simple wisdom has guided me: “You can always make time for what is important.”
“I realized parenting was always going to be about missing something and loving something new.” YES!
Thank you for your beautiful words and for helping me to reflect on the joy of now. You are very much appreciated!
I love coming here…because of you, Ruth, and your wise words.
Agree 100% with Tara. You are so wise. You continually examine your life too. This is the stage with your kids that will move so quickly, you may find yourself gasping for air. Grab the time and those moments that give you opportunity to love. xo nanc
I know it seems to be that the universe is telling us to be busy but I think we don't really listen to that still small voice that I believe is the Lord telling me to enjoy the now . And family is what our world is built on . Being a Christian,I think that our families are models of the love He demonstrates as a parent to us his children so taking time for family and reflection is what the universe is all about!
Have time to love more! Great words. Glad you had time for sweet Hannah's stories and thoughts and giggles. And the pic is so fun!
Thank you for this. It's a much need antidote to a world that seems to think that being busy is a sign of a life well lived, and that making time for everyday joys and experiences is perhaps a sign of laziness, or a lack of ambition. But a life well lived is a life that makes you feel happy and fulfilled, whatever that may mean. Enjoy those precious moments, and find joy in the knowledge that there will always be many more precious moments to come!
The idea of parenting seasons sticks with me. It's a road of discovery. When I visit here you make me think and feel.
Every piece of this is beautiful and emotional and I feel so lucky to be able to read your wise words. Thank you Ruth.
Ruth, this is a post that needs deep reflecting. Busy sometimes is a word that breaks up peace so I am going to remember: Because in the end, it's not about being busy, but about loving more.
Ruth, I agree with you that being busy does not mean we're more successful or doing work that matters. I find that I'm busy all the time, but I'm often busy doing things that don't matter to me deep inside. They just appear to matter because I haven't found my true compass yet. Working on it. Working on it.