a missed conversation
Every morning for over five months I have been intentional about where my first of each day goes. Remarkably, I awake each morning, happy to get out of bed and ready to read scripture, write, pray, and listen. I drink my coffee and sit still, protected by peace. This has been a life changing experience.
It always is when you follow Jesus’ call.
Then the last two mornings happened.
I still had time to get ready for work. I read a few bible verses and a quick devotion. The kids weren’t rushed. Breakfast was still on the table. Lunches were packed. We weren’t late. I gulped my coffee. The day went on. Eventually I wrote and did the things I normally do each morning. It wasn’t the same.
I felt like I stood up a favorite friend. So I went to bed earlier last night.
And it happened again.
What kind of person stands up someone two days in a row?
I realized this: I can’t do it on my own. I can’t get up each morning at 4:03 and be ready to study, write, pray, and listen on my own. I seem to relinquish big things to the Lord, but the daily duties I continue to control. He wants it all — the big and the small.
So tomorrow, with God’s help, I will give my first to Him.