it’s time to change (a little)

11 Comments

It’s time.

I created Ruth Ayres Writes as a place to discover, play, and build my writing life. It’s been a fun little space in my life, and I am incredibly thankful for the way there have been consistent readers and encouragers as I’ve shared different pieces of my writing life — professional, fiction, and personal.

Recently, there was a shift in my writing life. I used to write-in the day, usually collecting 1000+ words each morning. Then, last October, my spirit was compelled to take a hard look at where the first of each day was going. Writing in the day wasn’t bad. In fact, I really enjoyed the routine of words in the morning. However, I was nudged to give my first to scripture and prayer. It’s been a life-altering change, but I’m having a hard time finding a new space for my 1000 words. In November and December I cut back, pruning my writing life in order to grow.  I wrote in a notebook, but didn’t work on a specific writing project. My fiction WIP remains exactly where it was on October 31.

However, in January I began envisioning a new kind of writing project. It is still in the fuzzy-just-out-of-reach-edges of my brain. I’m not sure exactly what it is. However, I do know my time and energy and thinking space is being channeled in a different direction than before.This means my entries here, in this space created to discover, play, and build will also take on a different direction than before.

It’s time to document my story of faith and family and radical, crazy living. 

There are all kinds of doubts in my mind as I consider sharing these things in this space. This doesn’t matter, though, because I’m not writing for acceptance. (I keep telling myself this, but the comments fuel me and give me courage to keep writing “close to the bones,” as Katherine Bomer encourages.)

I’m writing for the Lord.
I’m writing to taste the sweetness of life again and again.
I’m writing to figure it out, or maybe to be okay with not figuring it all out.
I’m writing to realize how big God is and how He orchestrates the tiniest of details.
I’m writing because I’ve been given tremendous blessings and they continue to drench me.
I’m writing because even in the midst of hard there is still good.

I’m writing because I never imagined myself here. I am a mother to four, feeling fiercely protective of my charge. I adopted older children, who have a history without me. I spend my days encouraging people of all ages to write their stories, to learn to research, to use their passions and their words to change the world. I help people realize their stories matter.

It’s time to write this story outside of the covers of my notebooks. I’m not sure what it will look like, but I am sure the next step in my writing process is to share it here. I’m relinquishing my control and will intentionally collect the story of Him in this little corner of the world.

I hope my story inspires you to live yours.

By telling my story —

the goosebumps
the hard
the funny
the comfortable
the sad
the chaos —

I hope others will be inspired to collect their stories too. As we find meaning in our stories, it is my hope that we will glimpse a powerful and loving God. Documenting our stories allows us to see God’s grace. I want to see and be filled with God’s grace and peace. Can you imagine what would happen if we were all filled with more grace and peace?

Bit by bit the the world will be a better place.

All because of His story.

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adoption, faith, living, writing process

11 Comments »

  1. Interesting. I've been thinking a lot about this too. Writing our family's story. The good. The hard. The ugly. Thinking that other people could learn from our story. Wondering how much I should share, given that the story belongs to the boys, who are much more private than I am…

  2. Isn't that the theme of your blog..,discover, play, build? It sounds to me you have discovered something beautiful and inspiring to build on, as you always do.You have inspired me from the very first day I discovered blogging, and it only gets better. Thank you.

  4. Ruth, I am looking forward to seeing your posts and watching how your blog emerges over time. Interestingly enough, the shift is similar to one in my own life (although mine came later than yours). The end of December I decided to start each day with prayer, daily Mass readings, and a daily devotional. It has been a really good shift for me.

    I also appreciate your words because aside from slicing, there has been a pretty big standstill on my blogs as different areas of my life are naturally shifting and adjusting as I try to get a better balance between career, family, and spirituality. Much of my writing has been more personal, rather than publicly on my blogs. Your words will be tumbling around in my mind though as I sift through how it is okay for blogs to change over time and consider which of what has typically been private writing lately can find its way to explorations on my blogs.

    Thanks again for sharing your story. It is always so inspiring and often just what I need to read at any given time.

  5. Change happens, & it is important to listen to one's feelings that nudge us toward new things, as you have done. You have written much about reflection, Ruth, & that has meant much to me. And today, you've shared your thoughts again, another sharing that is inspiring to us all. Thank you!

  6. You honesty on paper, the vulnerability and truth, inspires me. As thoughts tumble in my mind on a daily basis, I too, like Mrs. V, have written personally, not being willing to risk. Your model is one we ask our students to do daily, to write purely in as safe , growing environment. My heart welcomes your reflection and my writing soul thanks you. Write- it's good for you! MHG

  7. Ruth,
    I got nervous when I began to read this post. It almost sounded like you weren't going to write here anymore! So very glad that my inference was incorrect! You inspire me in so many ways- as a person of faith, as a writer and a teacher, and as a mom. Thank you again and again for sharing it all with us.
    Kim

  8. Ruth, your faith continues to inspire me and my walk…both personally and professionally. I know it is absolutely a struggle to fit in everything over the course of 24-oh-so-short-hours, but your combination of faith-filled reflection and documention will be a winner. Guaranteed. Thank you for pushing me to be more courageous in my writing too. (I think that's part of 2013's Project Refine :). Best, b

  9. As I scrolled down, preparing my own thoughts, I read Kim's and don't have much to add. (Thanks, Kim.) I look forward to seeing how His story continues to unfold in your life, Ruth. You are inspiring me to think of sharing more of mine on my blog. We'll see what He does!

  10. I am so drawn to your writing and your life as a parent. I find my path is negotiating in some similar ways and different. I am currently struggle with this…we can't have it all…all the time. God and listening to what he wants for me to engage in is my first priority. Enjoy your journey. XO